Going Back to Go Forward

A few weeks out from my 29th birthday and with some pretty big years behind me (house-buying, creative projects, masters, travel etc), I feel like looking back a bit before I can move forward. Really, how strange it is to grow from birth to death, inhabiting this same body and heart as they bumble through.

As a kid, while I always had friends, I also loved getting out on my own in nature. As you can see: I have always been into cool forms of transport and sharp dressing ; )

Roller skating queen

Roller skating queen

20 years on

20 years on

Now I have the Black Hill area at my backdoor, but back then Darebin Parklands was my playground: climbing trees, looking for creatures in the creek, riding my bike fast down bumpy hills, writing in my diary.

Not much has changed really! That funny, anxious, creative little soul.

Yesterday I passed along my long neglected drum kit to my friend’s daughter who is about the same age as me when I first got them. Our band was called Pretty and Pink and we had all the merchandise organised, unfortunately not the talent. Don’t let it happen to you! When I think of those days, growing up, yikes! I certainly wouldn’t want to go back, but there is something magical in the constant discovery, learning about yourself and the world for the first time.

-clubhouses and the elaborate games and rituals of primary school

-getting my first period the day of a swimming pool party in Year 7

-getting up in front of the whole of Year 9 and singing ‘Everybody wants something, they’ll never give up’ from Degrassi High

-jumping out of a cake on my 18th birthday after orchestrating a crazy moving feast of ‘site-related theatre’- before I knew such a thing existed

-love and the pain of losing love

Another ten years on and I’ve been quite busy, always growing, hopefully learning! And I feel so much love for my family and friends and amazing mentors that encourage and inspire me. Life can be tough and most of the time I just feel varying forms of confusion, but to know that I can jump on my bike and ride alongside beautiful trees, or explore crazy ideas and turn them into artworks, and enjoy food and fun with my loved ones is sweet, and good to remember on the dark days.

So, here I am raising an icecream to my younger self, and sending all my best wishes to the Curnow girls for their garage band. Good times lie ahead. x

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One thought on “Going Back to Go Forward

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